I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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