i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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