I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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