So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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