Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
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My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
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Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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