do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Everything about him screamed your future.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize