new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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