if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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