but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize