i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
im six kinds of drunk right now
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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