I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
he shaved USA in his pubs
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
The Olympian is in my bed
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize