a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize