I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
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I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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