I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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