I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
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Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
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I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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