Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
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It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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