Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

you definitely have a few illegitimate kids

(1-407): View more from Florida

probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine

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(407): you definitely have a few illegitimate kids (1-407): probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine http://tfl.nu/6feu

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(313): View more from Michigan

then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito

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(313): then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito http://tfl.nu/szdu

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(512): View more from Texas

its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video

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(512): its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video http://tfl.nu/p3je

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(626): View more from California

Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life

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(626): Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life http://tfl.nu/vx9t

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(703): View more from Virginia

You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.

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(703): You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world. http://tfl.nu/ai3n

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(304): View more from West Virginia

She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.

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(304): She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth. http://tfl.nu/p490

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(330): View more from Ohio

I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.

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(330): I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies. http://tfl.nu/hccw

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.

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(832): I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep. http://tfl.nu/qpw1

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.

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(412): he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with. http://tfl.nu/jmfl

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(704): View more from North Carolina

And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.

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(704): And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control. http://tfl.nu/cnqj

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(614): View more from Ohio

There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.

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(614): There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss. http://tfl.nu/zse5

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(702): View more from Nevada

Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?

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(702): Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right? http://tfl.nu/4gj4

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(831): View more from California

You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint

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(831): You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint http://tfl.nu/ergy

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(435): View more from Utah

honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those

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(435): honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those http://tfl.nu/lx6k

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(416): View more from Toronto

Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?

(416): View more from Toronto

I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way

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(416): Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again? (416): I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way http://tfl.nu/h01t

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