At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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