Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize