But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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