Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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