I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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