that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize