When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize