Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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