I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
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I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
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Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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