im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
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Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
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