his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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