So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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