Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
is that a dick in a sweater?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize