Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize