Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
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he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
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SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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