You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize