I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize