How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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