I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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