Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Someone shattered a urinal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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