tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
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