Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
We named our party play list daddy issues
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize