I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
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i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
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I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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