haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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