is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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