I think I just saw someone hide a body.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize