I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
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I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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