I faked an abortion last night.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
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we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
i drank out of a bidet.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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