I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize