I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize