We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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