forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize