You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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